Life is hard. No one ever said it is easy. I am so sorry about grunting about how hard life is for me. But at the same time, I am pretty grateful to you guys who always comes back to check on my blog, putting your caring thoughts about me although it's like 0.00001% of your life. Nevertheless, thank you very very much.
So, in the month of October there was nothing much to talk about it. I only have two subjects through out the whole semester and it is a 7 week sem. Yaaaayyyyyy. To be frank, on this date itself I am already free. I have no finals no nothing at all to do. I had passed up all of my assignments and so on and so forth and most importantly, I have no finals!!!! Yeahhhhhh. I am free!!!
Pretty much this sem is all about training and going bowling and getting better and so on for an upcoming competition that is at 24th of November... Which had already passed and also we lost freaking freaking badly. Nevertheless an experience is one that is to be cherish. But this time I lost my cool on this particular competition. Everything happen was like totally shit. None of us, not even the strongest bowler in UTAR could cope up to the lanes. We just couldn't understand the method to play on the lane. We screwed up a big time. Most likely because the lanes weren't standard and the organisers are students!!! Freaking students conduct a regional competition and even joined to play in this competition. Freaking bullshit! Of course they would set up in a place where they are familiar to play. Not only they choose a place which has a lot of flaws, even the system and timing is a total bullshit and ripoff.
I really hate to be this weak. Especially when I have to give explaination to people around me. It's like a spear poking through me time and time over again. It is just so hurtful. I had never ever been this weak during competition. I went back home feeling frustrated. Kept on and on asking God, the purpose of this happening to me. The reason to keep on playing, give me faith, hope, reason. I just stopped believing in myself. No more faith. No more strength. I couldn't even stand to go for the second day of the competition. I went there like a weak person and ended up making friends. I mean, I love it when I make new friends. But its just that I couldn't even reach my average score during the competition. It is so hurting that all of the time and money, the struggles that I had been through, the lies, the explaination, the suffering, the pain, the injuries, the healing , everything that I had done was just wasn't worth it. I just like a lost hope. I couldn't believe that I just lost like that. Fall off so badly. I don't really know what to do or what to feel now. Only God can help me right now I guess.
In Jesus name I believe, amen.
#blacknovember #badmonth #badtimes
p.s. I will post another post since I skipped one month's post. Post it later after I think of a relevent points on things that happens around nowadays. Below are the pictures that I recently caught throughout these two months. Hope it's good enough to reilluminate this blog. Good night peeps :D
The picture of a moon surrounded by clouds
Entrance to the waterfall of Jeram Toi
Waterfall from the Damp of Ulu Bernam
