Skipped a month XD

Hey guys, it's November now and I forgotten to post for October. Yes guys, I forgot. I am so sorry that I always let people down when I had already promised them something.

Life is hard. No one ever said it is easy. I am so sorry about grunting about how hard life is for me. But at the same time, I am pretty grateful to you guys who always comes back to check on my blog, putting your caring thoughts about me although it's like 0.00001% of your life. Nevertheless, thank you very very much.

So, in the month of October there was nothing much to talk about it. I only have two subjects through out the whole semester and it is a 7 week sem. Yaaaayyyyyy. To be frank, on this date itself I am already free. I have no finals no nothing at all to do.  I had passed up all of my assignments and so on and so forth and most importantly, I have no finals!!!! Yeahhhhhh. I am free!!!

Pretty much this sem is all about training and going bowling and getting better and so on for an upcoming competition that is at 24th of November... Which had already passed and also we lost freaking freaking badly. Nevertheless an experience is one that is to be cherish. But this time I lost my cool on this particular competition. Everything happen was like totally shit. None of us, not even the strongest bowler in UTAR could cope up to the lanes. We just couldn't understand the method to play on the lane. We screwed up a big time. Most likely because the lanes weren't standard and the organisers are students!!! Freaking students conduct a regional competition and even joined to play in this competition. Freaking bullshit! Of course they would set up in a place where they are familiar to play. Not only they choose a place which has a lot of flaws, even the system and timing is a total bullshit and ripoff.

I really hate to be this weak. Especially when I have to give explaination to people around me. It's like a spear poking through me time and time over again. It is just so hurtful. I had never ever been this weak during competition. I went back home feeling frustrated. Kept on and on asking God, the purpose of this happening to me. The reason to keep on playing, give me faith, hope, reason. I just stopped believing in myself. No more faith. No more strength. I couldn't even stand to go for the second day of the competition. I went there like a weak person and ended up making friends. I mean, I love it when I make new friends. But its just that I couldn't even reach my average score during the competition. It is so hurting that all of the time and money, the struggles that I had been through, the lies, the explaination, the suffering, the pain, the injuries, the healing , everything that I had done was just wasn't worth it. I just like a lost hope. I couldn't believe that I just lost like that. Fall off so badly. I don't really know what to do or what to feel now. Only God can help me right now I guess.

In Jesus name I believe, amen.

#blacknovember #badmonth #badtimes


p.s. I will post another post since I skipped one month's post. Post it later after I think of a relevent points on things that happens around nowadays. Below are the pictures that I recently caught throughout these two months. Hope it's good enough to reilluminate this blog. Good night peeps :D

 The picture of a moon surrounded by clouds

 Entrance to the waterfall of Jeram Toi

 Waterfall from the Damp of Ulu Bernam

Sleep

I can't sleep...
I am afraid. Scared.
Because I know, that this time... I most likely could not reach your expectation... Muchless mine... I have had so many sleepless night and just feels like, I could not do the things I used to be able to do anymore. Mom, I am sorry. I am useless. I suddenly became so weak. Full of pride but yet foolish. I wouldn't be able to be the person who you think I could become. I do not regret my choice and decision. It is all my fault that made me came to this position. Sorry mom. There is nothing wrong with the things around. It's me. Myself is the problem. I am so sorry.

Girls

Girls are silly...
but that's what makes the adorable.
Damn what the hell am I thinking.

Sorry this is a very short post as I have not much time. I have final exams in 2 more weeks so I would be busy and will not be updating in this 1 month time. Thank you for staying tune. Have a nice month ahead. Goodbye

ARE MALAYSIANS RUDE?!

Just a video where my wonderful seniors had made! Really open up my eyes! Please do support! Give a like and share it out if you thing it is great!

A song

This will be a super short post. Sorry for not posting after for so long!
I promised once a month and I lied again. Sorry.


So I had written two new songs.
I had completed one of it and I am currently working on it.
I promise to post about it when I am finished :D

Dear you

Dear you,

How is outside there? How is it like at Spain? Waking up early to get a good breakfast.
Walk outside with some newly seen friends knowing stuffs that we could never find in Malaysia.
Comparing it with the stuffs we have and so on so forth. Talking about life but not about me. Explaining your origins, listen to the newly stuff that I could had never pour to you. Hopefully you are happy and I am praying for your happiness.

From:
Dear me...

Christina Grimmie

This blog is not about to describe a person. It's more to describe my life. Therefore if you came by to read about Christina... You wouldn't get much info anyway

Christina Grimmie has been an idol to me. The way she sings, the way she talk and everything about her is beautiful. She moved on at 11th of July getting shot by a man with two guns who shot himself afterwards as well.

I really admire Christina Grimmie since 2011 when first the song Just A Dream came out. I always like that song as it really somehow describe me, my life during 2009 where things sucks as hell.

Her voice moved me. Everytime I study I would on her song just to have a good time by myself listening to a person who is good at it. 

Just now I woke up at 2 am wanting to do something. Ended up playing League of Legends. I wanted to play one last game and then I was assign to play a character I haven't play a long time... Ahri, The Nine Tails Fox. Last I play Ahri was like 3 to 5 years back and had not played her for a freaking long time. Had good fun with playing Ahri. Some of the videos about Christina was her playing Ahri missing skillshots... I played and made sure I carried the game. 

RIP Christina.... I will miss your songs and covers...

I will always imagine how would you sing this song and that song. You are beautiful and God wants you to be with him. Go and entertain another world. You will do fine... I am sure of it :)

Hey :DDD

Hello :D
It's my birthday again this time and date :P
Happy birthday to me :)
Spending my time at home in front of my laptop
#lifeless
ahahah
Thanks for reading. Goodbye :P

Giving up or Continue?

Heyya guys :)
It's been a long time right?
So yeah. I will talk about something depressing when you saw the topic but no...
It is a question to you. To those who are in a relationship actually.
My question is to you that who felt depress, like you've been asking yourself, Why he/she is so cold? He/She is not answering my call, Why? Should I break up?
Well, think of the stuff that actually makes this relationship goes on. Not to mention the duration, but never care about that. Duration doesn't matter. You see, if I show you a piece of white paper with a black dot and ask what do you see? You will tell me about the black dot first regardless of what comes next. We are always fixated to find the faults and never see the smiles and memories that actually we treasure it.

In my experience, I actually agree to broke up which was a fool of me...
Now I wake up everyday missing of the things I used to do. The feelings I used to have. The regrets that I had done. It hurts a lot actually and if you see. I try to think about what could be fix and try to throw it all. In the end it turns to mistakes. Send her messages where she would not think of. Till now I am not sure whether she had read it or not...

So back to my question
Which is more worth in your current situations? Going with the person whom you love/loved and re-find back the love you had lost or just quit? Giving in to your ego or letting your ego down?
Choice is yours :)

Peace out :D

The thing I hate the most

Lies!!!!

That would be lies....
I hate to hear lies. I dislike them very much. It makes me angry if I detect them. It makes me even more angrier when I trust that sentence and later on find out to know that that statement is a freaking lie.
I don't get it. Be honest. It doesn't kills to be honest. I can't face a person who tell lies to me nor can I let them go. There is always a doubt. Was it my fault? or was it for the fun of it so a lie was told?

I am a very emotional person with my multiple personality syndrome. But when I am caught in a lie, thousands of personality will react to it. Most of em are negative! and trust me. I would do some crazy stuff just after knowing its a lie! I always go against the flow of life. I will feel guilty doing so but I am forced to. I can be real after knowing you are fake, can I? So be prepared to face the fake me. It will hurt a lot and it will be that way until God knows when...

THE END!!!!!!!!!