What do you do when you lose someone?

So how does it feels? Losing someone you love. Physically? Emotionally? or even just plain love?
The time you spent together felt so less when you can do so much more and when the time comes, Boom! A whole body in the grave.

We are all one step in the grave. All of us. We didn't realise that. We were not told from the start of our lives that we are dying. Time is ticking. Sure we have no countdown clock that help us and tell us when our time is up. But we are dying! You, me, your mother, your father, your grandmother, my grandmother, everybody! We are all dying. Sure doesn't seems much. But it feels like a lot when we experience it. It feels like a thing stuck in you gut wishing you did what you had in mind before those things happen to you. Those accident, the situation, the break up, the disease, the phenomena, the natural disaster. All of those things that separate us when we least expect it. You are damn right if you are thinking that the chances it happens to you are little. You are damn right! But how can you be sure that it will never ever happen to you? Try to be all alone, being solitude makes people feels tough. That's damn right. But how long can you withstand solitude? Be it alone, CAN YOU WITHSTAND SOLITUDE? 

Two months back, I experience heartbreak. I didn't exactly lose someone yet. But it was almost like it. It's like a small relationship problem for both of us and I didn't make a significant move. I was static, afraid, not willingly doing what I should be doing and we ended up suffering. (p.s. private life... will consider to talk later). Two days back, I went back to my university to have a lunch with one of my lecturer and she just had a lot of emotional feelings piling up on her. Loss of a godmother and a physically injured friend which might be for a long term (as in forever). So much that she is feeling and so little I can do to calm her. One thing that I had learn from the past is that, sometimes the people who has spiritually moved on wants you to be happy even when they are dead. They want you to live life with a smile. I think that is the most important thing in the entire world. Even after you are dead, you want the people around you to be happy. To be happy that they knew you. That is how life goes. We live for ourselves and also for the people around us.

What if you had to make the decision to pull of someone's life because the medical records says that there is no point on plugging in the machine to allow the body to live? That the brain is dead and there is no more looking at him/her coming back alive. How does it feels if we never ever knew that person at all? You may have no sympathy for them, maybe a little for them and their family. But it would all be different for your family isn't it? Because they are the one who is there for you. From the start to the end.

Last Saturday I heard kids. You know, kids being kids, shit talking their parents. Acting out being like a gangster from a gangster movie in Malaysia called Abang Long Fadil and being mean. They just go on being like a big boy gonna gun you and your family down and so it goes on until I heard he said he hit his mom. That triggered me a little. Although he is just a kid, but I was literally upset. Upset with how this generation's children are being brought up and NO! I am not flaming anyone or all of the children in this generation. That is literally called as flaming without a substantial proof. But I had encountered with children who has the mindset of it is fine speaking anything without a single care towards other people's feeling. I mean like, won't you feel regret if you lose someone who was there for you but you bad mouthed them or mistreated them. Just feel. Like just stop for a moment and think. Which is better? Clear off your sins before you or them pass on or have the usual "Ah, f*** it" attitude? Just imagine one day without the person that is close to you, that made you pissed off for a short period of time. Will it hurt? Will you miss them? Will you ask for others for their whereabouts?

See I don't know what you are facing through this life. Maybe you are a kid, unable to pursue your dreams because your parents told you not to and you are crossed with them. Maybe you are a person who has just lost a few people who are close to you, be it recently or long time ago. Be it emotionally or physically. But here I am just telling you with all that I've been through, whatever happens to you, just be you. It is okay to cry for a day. It is okay to feel the pain circulating around your body, in your heart. I know and I don't. I know the feeling and I don't know the feeling, what you had been through and how is it like. Feels like things happen for without a reason. But do believe this, they who left you physically and emotionally wants you to be happy. Those who are still around wants you to smile and enjoy the good things around you. To be there with them. To love others as much as how they do.

Living is hard, but dying is harder. Knowing how much tears that will shed. But when I die, I at least want the people who knows me smile because they knew me and all the time we had spent together, not cry because they did not do enough. I believe that is what most of us think...
What about you?

What happened past 1 and 1/2 months ago?

So quick story is that I had freaking exams one after another. I had 5 test in 3 consecutive days in the first week and week by week it was just coming over and over again. Test and test and test and test and stress.
 Boom!
I felt so stressed out!!! Hopefully you could imagine it~~~~

Anyways. a short update on my competition, I got a silver medal and a gold medal. Silver in singles and gold for doubles. I had a 545 pinfall throughout a 3 game series. was kinda close. I guess I wasn't doing good enough in it. But I give thanks to God for all it happen. I am currently having finals right now. So this is a short update for I haven;'t write anything for August.

p.s. I have a letter but it won't be open soon enough ~~~~ bla bla bla. Bye bye !

Update on life and blog

This blog is going to be abandoned by the year of 2021.

Well, let's start with update. Basically I wrote it all on my twitter. A month back, my shoulder had a slight dislocation due to old injuries of bowling. Muscles around it such as deltoids and supraspinatus was injured. Literally live my life wearing a shoulder support. One thing that I never write much in this blog is my bowling career. That is due to me not seeing myself being able to reach to my expectation and my desired level due to some external variables. I only wrote about it once which was two years back where I won two gold medals. I lost badly last year. Throughout the entire year I only got 1 bronze medal. So practically, this injury was caused by bowling and also some other sports. I am almost healed by now (not really sure tho). There is a competition coming soon at the 23rd of July and also I am having 5 test in 3 consecutive days, this coming week. So probably, I am gonna die. Weeeeeeeeeee

Now, why is this blog going to be abandoned by year of 2021 is because My wonderful life as a student ends at that time.... Unless if I go to Masters which is impossible. Therefore that is that. About the issue of opening a new blog... I am not so sure about it, because I don't feel like it. So, we see how it goes. Have a great day.

p.s. I will update on the competition if I win. If I do not update however.... then you should know what happened.... probably

Short reminder for myself

If you look around you you will see people's lives and thoughts on autopilot, now you tell me why someone else is dictating your life and thoughts, why, why are your thoughts being manipulated by external variables. What does it take to change those thoughts and therefore change your habits and life? Let's start with the concept of speed. 1697 newtons laws of motion. Newton's first law of motion; an object in motion will remain in motion unless acted upon by an external force. This thought teaches us to exterminate all negative external forces so we remain in constant motion. This knowledge is taught in high schools, colleges, it's all around you. Will you plummet down? Or soar up? Your perception decides. Eliminate any unnecessary external forces, Waste no time and ascend perpetually, so that your speed will never loose its motion. The law of attraction states, that what you seek is seeking you. That your frequencies and vibrations are energies that have a boomerang effect. Your attitude determines your direction. The speed acquired will determine IF you get there. The attitude acquired will determine HOW you get there. Stop rushing things that aren't meant to be rushed. If you must rush things, rush becoming patient. Be so patient that you are in a hurry. Enjoy the process of life. Fall in love with the process. Impatience is an ugly trait, nobody likes impatient people. A lack of patience effects those around you, it's like a gigantic domino effect of failure, and the worst thing about it is you won't see the chaos until it's too late. Let's say you are at a halt in a vehicle at a red light. The light goes green and immediately the vehicle beside you slams on the gas maxing out the vehicles speed in seconds. That same vehicle that was once beside you is now distant. Heading towards an intersection, as you near the intersection you witness a car crash. The drivers life? Over. The other drivers life? Over. Your life? Aware, patient, obedient and alert. Alive. Do society a deed, before you make decisions, pick up a book and read and under that every success has a seed. Only because behind that success is a patient individual who did the work and is able to lead. "But I'm not a born leader" What a poor excuse. And those things called excuses get you 0% closer to your goal. The greatest leaders lead from the back. A humility that is so powerful it makes the impossible possible. Their light is so dim its luminescent, their footsteps are so quiet they're thunderous, and their presence is so unknown, it's illustrious. As a leader you must make your own decisions. You must fill your days with positive habits and repeatedly complete them, day in and day out. Take your mind and your heart combine them, dig out your passion, build greater people of that passion, don't preach what you can't do, what ever you do do not be a hypocrite. Being a leader consists of work. You must lead by example. You can not lead until you can serve, you can not serve until you can work, you can not work until you see potential. You can not see your potential without intelligence. The realisation of potential, believing in yourself, believing in your vision from within, stepping forth, unleashing your full potential, and bringing your vision into fruition. Speed propels the vitality of life. Attitude controls it. Momentum maintains it. Patience protects it. Leadership guides it and intellect unleashes it

Scuba Scuba :P

Today's story.

I went for Discovery Scuba Diving (DSD)

Happily to say I survived. So here is the short story

During the scuba diving session, the instructor asked who can swim? I raised up my hands. He told me to get ready to jump into the 10 feet pool to swim and I was like "I had never swim in a place with no footings so I am not sure whether I can swim or I will drown." He said its okay. Just jump when I tell you to.

Few moments later we head out to the pool and he jumped in. He told me to jump as well. Me, without my googles nor the snorkel tube, hesitated for a few seconds(with a thought of what if I really can't swim without a footing) and then jump. It ended up me swimming through and fro without much of a problem. Student life in UTAR had thought me, its okay. Just do it don't mind death. If it comes it comes.

Hahaha. Jokes aside. It was truly a fun session.

Give a like if you have time :) Thanks Guys!!!

As the title has said, give a like if you have the time.
I know I have not been updating much these days. Please bear with me as exams are around the corner. I do have a draft of a new blog post but I haven't really finish it yet. Therefore, mean time, you can go ahead and watch the videos from this channel!
Thank you very much!!!

TDO Apparel releasing soon

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#Never settle for less than you deserve

Races, Culture, Country, Food

Hi again everyone,

I've been checking my stats recently and I realize I have a lot of entry from other countries besides Malaysia. For those who are new to this blog, Hi! I am from Malaysia. I haven't been out of Malaysia yet. But soon, one day, I will go and take a long vacation around the world. Can't really do it now because I am still studying for Degree in Mechanical Engineering.

Today I will be talking about culture and stuffs. In Malaysia to me, going around visiting places is not the attraction for me to move around. The best attraction would be the food! I had tried a lot of types of food. But, it seems it's like never ending. There are many different types of food and sorts. I have a few friends from Texas who came here to pursue their Masters cert. and etc. They really love the weather in Malaysia. They love the food (well, some of them... Depends on the types). Every single time my church receive a visitor, the first food to be tested out is call Durian, the king of all fruits. To some people, it has a pungent smell. Most of the tourist/visitors could not accept the taste. I can partially understand that. But, I love the fruit too much to hate it :P

So my friends from Texas invited us for dinner few times already. I really like the apple cider they make. It's not like the apple cider bear like Somersby or Strongbow, which is an alcoholic drink that is being sold here. But, it was more like a warm, soothing tea. Few weeks back, I ate lasagna that they had made with cheese and everything. My gosh! It was my first time eating it. I really like everything about it although the taste was extra extra strong that our normal spices we used normally in the kitchen. However, it was too delicious to not to eat.

Somehow no matter where we are, food is something what we like, what we appreciate, what we love. Calming ourselves like we are calming a raging girlfriend with food. Kinda funny when I say it like that. But yes, love yourself with food.

I definitely can't wait to explore the world with different types of food around.

That's it from me today!

Although...

Although the coughing blood haven't stop.  Today was a good day to end my dreadful infections and fever.  5 different dreams in an hour sleep. The first one made me laugh like crazy while I was sleeping. I woke up on my own laughter. 😂😂😂😂.
The last one made me smile as wide as I could. However,  dreams are dreams and I woke up nearly cried realising it. Foolish mind playing mind games. You think I will forget... Didn't you?

I skipped another month, didn't I?

Oh FML
Yes you did, Mr Seth! F**k you making us waiting with promised lies and pure bullshits! Thank you for wasting our times.

Hey, I did miss out another month. But, it's not like I wanted to miss it 😅 Don't be mad yea? Not very good for your blood pressure 😉.

Just a short post. A little update on my life.

Somehow coughing out blood/substance with blood in/on/within it doesn't surprise me. I was expecting it 😁😂.
Not like I will say something like, I have not long to live or shit like that. But yeap, I coughed out blood. Hundreds of tissue had suffered. Rest in peperonies!
I was bed ridden for past 7 days due to infection and somewhat suspected dengue.

Here is to be exact, bacteria infection at the left side of the throat, high fever on and off, and also a sinus infection. So yeah,  everything was topsy turvy... At the freaking first week of New Year! 😢

Damn it!  Why must this new year have a bad start.  Bed ridden for few days some more. Ugh.  Save me people. That's it for me though.  Good night, gotta have some rest. 😭😭😭😭