Laughter to cover up darkness in the heart

Just so tired of exaggerating people... They never notice that they are stepping on you.
Through the darkness of my heart that tempt me to be negative...
Lets change that instead


Darkness creates a new light

Time vs love...

Time vs love

It's hard for me to move on as I am a sentimental person. After the break up, a lot of things happened. There was much confession back and forth. Emotions are running to high. I didn't thought that it would be this hard. Honestly, everyday I tempted to be in a new relationship. To get a new girlfriend. To find a new leash To get someone to understand me and be my leaning place. To restart... but I can't. Everyone is perfect no matter what you look like, how is your physical condition, your spiritual condition your emotions, the way you speak, the way you talk, the way you love... and I am grateful for all this love shown to me... But I am not ready. I'll never be in this time being as I am wounded and being crippled so badly. Been holding back my tears for so long, for a person who has gone for so long, for a promise that can never be fulfilled. Every single night, my tears just swells up in my eyes, begging just to flow out. Every single day, my heart just sank to the bottom when my mind triggers of how deep the wound is showing me that I can never be the same. Although yeah, you see me jumping around doing my happy face. But the heart was not there. and that hurts a lot...

You promised that
you'd never leave...
where are you now?

A very sad song for broken hearts Michael Ortega

Boy texts girl: I love you :(

Girl says: ok...

Boy: Why is it you always wait for me to say I love you. Why is it that I have to be the first to say good morning or goodnight for you to say it to me? 

Girl: I don't talk to people first; I wait for others to hit me up. 

Boy: Then, why was it you didn't want to go to the event the other day with my friends?

Girl: I don't know your friends, why go if I don't know them. 

Boy: but, that's the purpose; to meet them. 

Girl: why can't u just leave me alone, always bothering me trying to insist in me doing what you want. Can't you think of how I feel?

Boy: Yes I do. My God, haven't all the things I've done for you proved you all the love I have in you? The time I covered you up when you were raped. The things I went through with the threats of your step father thinking I was bad for you? The time I waited for you or the times I always came back to you when u didn't want me? What happened to all that?

Girl: Fuck you, bye...I guess it's over. You're too childish. 

Boy: why are you breaking up again? Doesn't it hurt you to see that you are the one acting childish? Sometimes I like to feel loved, why can't you make some sacrifices like I do for you? 

Girl: (no answer).

Boy Thinks: My God I wanted to marry her; I lost my virginity to her. Why do girls always think guys are the jerks when guys like me have to suffer too for falling in love?

Girl answers: I will delete your number, your Facebook, just leave me alone. I will never see you ever again.

Boy thinks: Since the first time I saw you, I noticed how your eyes sparkled. They reflected the joy of your heart and I knew that I was the reason for your blushes. Why today, 10 months later, you act like I'm nothing. Why don't you appreciate the time I made that song for you, or that time I stayed up really late at night trying to prevent you from killing yourself? Why...Why....Why. Rivers of blood say more than your heart. Dry land has more water than the juice of the past love I fear is over. Can you say I once had a love? I wish you can come to me and stop overreacting once in for all. Like always, I'll be waiting for you. I'll forgive you and kiss you no matter how deep your words hurt. I believe I truly love you; not like some say just to make you feel better. 

Boy Replies: Goodbye forever..

Dream that never comes true

I know that I am already dead busy. Bio reports needed to be completed for online submission, need to prepare my presentation slides for Thursday, and gotta prepare for two tests coming this week.But still, I really want to write this post is because of I dreamed about you just now. We were like as usual, awkward as F because you never wanted to talk to me like ever again. There was not a single soul around us and then we walked confronting each other and just burst into tears, hugging. Called you silly girl like I always did. But I do know that... it is impossible already right?

See. I do know that once you say you don't care, you wouldn't. But please, just let me care for you. Just for one final day. Because you never try to know... How much I loved you.

I still want to know the reason

I still want to know the reason why.
I just can't let it go I guess...
Triple dots means infinity. That's what Mr.Reza said and that is how it's going to be.
You and me... strangers... Until you open up...
I don't exist anymore... Am I? :)












It hurts... a lot... silly girl

It's not about the item, it's bout your heart

Well let me be a bit sentimental...
I am not going to lecture you... instead you will see me baffle at you =-=

I want a new phone because my phone cracked. its has freaking lots of scratches+ virus + the camera is broken.... But I'm sentimental.... I still love this f**king phone.... (p.s. first cuss word in the entire blog)

I want a new bag. This bag is broken. Lotsa tore and all but man I am sentimental... I had this bag for like three years... Look into my momma eyes and said I want that bag! I wanna buy it with my money. My momma say no. Imma pay it for ya. I want to pay that bag (shouting hysterically). You let me pay or I am not going to take you home.

Made you wasted 1 minute of your time
Okay screw this...
First thing I find it hard to talk bout is myself. Thats why I write....
Isn't it obvious? I mean like... I can't talk bout it so I write bout it? Get it?
Basically I am a freaking sentimental retard.
I would be the most spoiled brat that wants to turn back the clock and do something better such as run for 17 Kilometers to see a person's deadbody.
I am a freak who wants to do shit such as hitting somebody in the head, bite my own cheek so that I would bleed when I cough and I am the person who imagines things that is not real comes to life in the middle of something else.
Most shittiest of all I would imagine things that isn't alive, alive and express gratitude like towards my family's 9 years car because of not breaking down in the highway although have problems in its engine.
Look I know some of you are like that freak imagine stuffs and also being freaking sentimental. They called it childish but we are all childish. Its only that your size has grown. We are being force to follow with people around us and act like someone we don't know. External variables that controls our thoughts and made us go autopilot.
P.s. again.. This post is just for you to waste time, give your freaking mind a small thought.. and for f**k sake you will forget it after a day. At most a week. Hope you like it... although I didn't :P

Happy birthday

This is a post dedicated to someone who I poured so much into it and left
Happy birthday to you :)
Sorry it didn't turn out so well
I am not good enough
Someone told me
I didn't understand you well enough
It hurts me so much....
But I guess she was right
I don't
I keep questioning myself for this past few days...
And worst of all, kept singing
hahaha
Anyways, it's your birthday today and I don't have the courage to go and tell it to your face.. So.....
Happy Birthday

One of the peoples I look up to

It's kinda sad when I hear this song and look at Korra's face.

The moment when she was so powerful and full of confidence suddenly had lost fate in herself which kinda set me back a little.

She did became even stronger.

Every time she comes back she is more stronger.

But somehow, her confidence has become weaker and weaker

It's just so sad

p.s. It's and hour loop

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0aiqDUHhOU

Dumb Me

Ahahaha, 

Hello guys and girls.

I just realise that one of my songs does not play as usual which is Jason Mraz's song. I'm yours.

I just reedited it. I totally forgot how to edit the SCM music player 's playlist and only managed to edit it by one hour time when I could had done it within 5 minutes...

ugh!

So sad :(

anyways... Finals for sem two is coming soon.

Although my home there is some family problems, but I will try to concentrate on my studies as much as I can... It is hard nowadays... life that is :P

Anyways... wish my luck :)